My Story: Part 1

2 Corinthians 5:16-17

Now we look inside, and what we see is that anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new. The old life is gone; a new life burgeons! Look at it! All this comes from the God who settled the relationship between us and him, and then called us to settle our relationships with each other. 

I have undergone dramatic changes over the last few years.  People may not see it on the outside, but I feel it, deeply, on the inside.  I am NOT the same person I used to be.  And for that, I am truly grateful.  I feel the need to put it all down into words because I NEVER want to forget where I once was.  Because, I know that if I forget where I came from, I will also forget that I have a relationship with the living God, who offered me unfathomable grace, who loved me just as I was, but also loved me too much to let me stay that way.

Why now? Because He spoke to me this week.
Words that were a gentle reminder, yet they took my breath away.

You see, this week has been a crazy, rough one.  Korey had to leave town unexpectedly, and of course some chaos ensued (as would be expected with a job and 4 kids).  However, I was surrounded by people who loved and supported me.  People who got me through the crazy.  People who offered their help and allowed me to lean on them: a dinner made (by someone who hates to cook!), babysitting arranged, and a water leak fixed.

And here is what God said, "Don't you see Hilary....when you don't try to be 'Superwoman' I can show you my love through the people I've placed in your life."

Those words hit me hard.  Not because I was trying to act like "Superwoman" and God was correcting me, but because I have finally put the cape in the closet and let it go. It didn't even cross my mind, this week, to try to act like I could do it all.  I asked for help, and willingly received any, and all, help offered.  I know now that I can't do it all, and I don't even want to pretend that I can.

God's words made me realize how much I pushed His love away before, and how I am just now starting to experience it for real.  But I don't want to get too far ahead of myself.  I want to go back to the beginning, to explain who I used to be, and how I got to be that way.

 And I will.....but that's another post....for another day.